What Is and What May Never Be
by thegenuineimitation
Summary: Arthur makes a confession and Merlin does not. M/A non-explicit. Slash.


**What Is and What May Never Be**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Merlin.

**Author's Note:** This was supposed to be something incredibly different, but I hope you like it anyway. M/A non-explicit.

WARNING: Implied Slash M/M

* * *

"Arthur, we've barely been riding an hour," Merlin said raising an eyebrow at the Crowned Prince of Camelot who'd called a sudden break and plopped unceremoniously onto the side of the small forest road they'd been riding along.

"The horses have had a long journey," Arthur said shortly.

"Mmhm...I'm sure that's it, look why don't you just tell me what's bothering you," Merlin suggested tossing Arthur his water skin.

"This journey is what's bothering me! There's is absolutely no point to it whatsoever!" Arthur exclaimed.

"You'll have the Lady Rowena on your arm for the entire week," Merlin pointed out busying himself with the buckles on his horse's saddle to hide his bitter annoyed expression, "All the servants with the envoy said she's very beautiful, and kind, a gentle soul," he added.

Merlin hated the Lady Rowena. It wasn't a personal thing, seeing as how he'd never met her, in fact Merlin was fairly sure that Lady Rowena was a lovely person, it was more that he hated that she was a representation of everything that Arthur needed in a Queen, and therefore a lover.

Beautiful...

Noble...

Graceful...

Delicate...

Tactful...

Well mannered...

Female...

Not secretly a bloody warlock...

"I don't want to marry Lady Rowena, I'm not going to marry Lady Rowena, and I don't see why we had to leave Camelot at all," growled Arthur before settling into a full blown royal sulk.

Merlin's lips twitched.

Arthur looked adorable, his abnormally full lower lip protruding slightly his cornflower blue eyes unusually dark.

"Well you might have gotten out of it if you hadn't said 'That's final!' to your Father. The King is way more stubborn than even you," Merlin pointed out.

"Shut up, _Mer_lin!" snapped the Prince.

Arthur shot him a token glare before dropping his head in his hands.

"What am I going to do?" murmured Arthur.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

"What you always do with women Arthur, be Princely, it should convince Lady Rowena that you wouldn't suit,"

"Shut _up_, Merlin!" Arthur groaned tiredly.

Merlin shot Arthur a surprised look from where he was unburdening their horses. Arthur never failed to rise to shots about his pratishness, the only thing he was more sensitive about was his figure. He must be genuinely concerned about some aspect of this trip.

Abandoning all pretence of dealing with the horses Merlin strode over to where Arthur was sitting, head still bowed.

"What is it?" Merlin demanded quiet and suddenly serious.

Arthur raised his head and stared into Merlin's eyes for a long moment.

"There's someone..."

Merlin drew in a sharp breath and his eyes went wide. Ephemeral pain shot through him almost potent enough to make him cry out. But Merlin had loved Arthur long before he'd fallen in love with him and masked his inner turmoil, determined to be there for his friend, who, it appeared, was almost equally heartsick.

Arthur shook his head.

"It's stupid, I can't be with...this person...there is no chance for us..."

Merlin found this tidbit a cold comfort, as that which caused him pain also caused Arthur pain.

"You never know, circumstances change, Uther won't be around forever and when you're King people will pretty much have to do whatever you order, things he wouldn't allow, class differences, won't matter if you don't want them to," Merlin said.

"I'm afraid it's nothing so simple,"

"Have you told...this person...how you feel?" asked Merlin hesitantly.

He wasn't sure what he wanted Arthur to answer, on the one hand he would never wish the daily pain of unrequited love on his best friend on the other a small part of Merlin didn't want to know that another's love had replaced his own, that he was no longer Arthur's first...anything.

Arthur raised his head again, a humourless half-smile quirking his lips.

"I have but I'm afraid I was...misunderstood, which is for the best, better they not know,"

Merlin frowned.

"Arthur, you can't give up on this love of yours if you haven't even made a go at it. Look you should take the week to muster your courage and plan a really meaningful declaration of feeling, then the two of you should decide what you are going to do about the obstacles in your way, you know I'll help you anyway I can,"

Arthur laughed, but it was more than slightly hysterical.

"Merlin you are such an idiot," he said shaking his head fondly.

"Yeah, well _you_ are a prat, a Royal one," smirks Merlin.

Arthur slings an arm around his shoulders companionably and Merlin relishes this closeness. This is what they have, who they are, and Merlin wouldn't trade it for anything.

* * *

**AN:** A little angstier than my first Merlin one-shot, but I like the element of uncertainty in this one. I'm still getting used to the characters, but I hope to start a longer more plot based Merthur fic soon. With that in mind please review and let me know what you think.


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